A Day Outside....

Through It All

"Friends are like flowers in the garden of life." They too can be the ray of light you sometimes need to see you through. A true friend can be difficult to find and even more difficult to keep. But the ones that manage to stay a part of your life for the long run are the only ones that truly matter. The rest are like temporary teachers or students. Learning from one another and then moving on. A best friend is a blessing all its own. They are there for you no matter what, through thick and thin. They tell you the truth even when it will hurt and give you a shoulder to cry on when the pain is too much. They are steady when you are weak and weary. Always there with their hand held out just in case you need help to stand. Sometimes I forget to tell them "thank you" and let them know just how appreciated they are. How much the fact that they care really means. I am blessed to have a few best friends to turn to, but today I wanted to tell you, Tara, "Thank You!" and "Happy Birthday"......No matter what we say or do I will always love you and be thankful to have you in my life. You are the flower I choose to pick and the light that makes me grow...........

Ohhhh, The Agony!

I have just finished applying for school at the prestigious San Francisco Art Institute...... I had to just SAY it because I am still not even believing it.

I received my first camera for my 10th birthday along with one roll of film from my father. It was a 35mm and I felt such an amazing power holding that little plastic black box in my hands. That is the day I really started to see. I don't think I ever saw the world until I looked through my tiny lens, clicked the button and knew in my mind what that photograph would look like.

He drove me all over SeaTac that day. Me telling him to pull over at the most unusual places and I would try, awkwardly, to get into a "photographers stance", line up my shot and push the button. The sound of that click is one of my favorite sounds in the world. Right up there with the laughter of a child.... and I did that that day too.

So I wanted to say "Thank you" Dad.... for giving me a passion and a reason to pursue it. And for all of the dreams and happiness it has brought me. Perhaps I will be coming home to share them with you.

My 7 Deadly Sins

PRIDE

ENVY

WRATH

SLOTH

GREED

GLUTTONY

and last but oh sooo not least...

LUST

OK.... at the beginning of every new year everyone has these great aspirations of things they want to do or change in their lives. Resolutions. I haven't made any yet, because I have been thinking about this ritual and why almost every resolution falls away pretty rapidly. Why the failures? Is that such a brilliant way to begin a new year, every year? I really don't think so. In my random way of thinking I decided it is best for me to realize and come to terms with my 'failures' first. And really what can be counted as more of a failure than succumbing the the great and tempting '7 Deadly Sins'? So I racked my brain and found (not surprisingly) that I could come up with something for each and everyone of them..... So here they are, out in the open. After all, the road to recovery begins with acceptance. So I accept my 'Sins' and in doing so perhaps a resolution of change will be next.

Finding Faith and Inspirations..... in everything.

Life just has a way......You're up. Then you take another step and "free-fall" into a world so different and frightening its as if you have never opened your eyes before. Your heart has stopped beating and there is not enough air to fill your straining lungs.... and you cry. You cry for everything that you thought would last forever. For everything you lived for, everything you loved for. And then, by some miracle, there comes a light somewhere in the distance. A point of hope to walk to. And then to run for. That speck becomes a beacon of sorts, a reason to carry on. It is amazing to my mind where these little spots of life can come from. My girls always light my life in their smiles, their art, their humor. But at night, when the blackness seems suffocating there are other rays of hope and inspiration for living. Books that make me think, movies that make me cry. Songs that make me want to sing or dance in my living room. I know that they have always been there and always will be and it has been me hiding that caused them to go away for a while. Sometimes you just need to learn to open yourself up again. Open up your eyes, your heart, and then your soul will find a way to follow.