The Live Again

Staring out an open window, pondering the horizon,a shadow emerges from the place between the day and the twilight to come. The air seems thick and sticky in my lungs. Frantic hammering, jumping, squirming comes from my torn and tattered heart. The smell is an intoxicating wave rushing to meet me. My entire being screams "Who are you?" With a feverish need I realize that I have to know. To understand. To delve into the puzzle that is you. You will change me. As the ocean gently molds the shore. Peeling layer upon layer off ever so gently. Letting soft pearls of light shine through the stiffeling darkness. Slowly tempting and tourturing larger amounts of myself to splinter. Sending gaping cracks down my body. I shudder from the force of the awakening. You stand strong, stately before me. Placated, at triumphant with your work. A quivering step. Uncertanty radiating in my eyes. Your outstretched arms, roped with power, reach for me at last. I melt into them. Breathing, for what seems like the first time through the torrent oftears. And I am reborn.

mist: a poem

She is out there The milky morning Strong as Peppermint tea. Wind like a sigh Upon chilled flesh. She wears the Earth Like a glove; The joy A subtle radiance in her eyes.

The essence of Woman is compromised

There was a time, not so long ago at all were you would find a woman clad in her apron, singing sweetly while she floated and fluttered around her home. Filling it with enchanting smells and decadent edible fantasies. Making every inch a home that she was proud of, a sanctuary for her beloved family and faithful friends. Some find that image both demeaning and archaic. I ask why? Isn't it a blessing to make your life one of peace and happiness? Making mundane things into moments filled with a sort of spiritual elation? I have been asked a number of times by those I have given recipes to 'why does mine not taste like yours?!' What is the "extra" I put into mine? I am obviously leaving out a huge magical secret the lack there of is ruining their culinary masterpiece. My answer.... is Love. Yes. As corny as it sounds, I said 'love'. Imagine this: The house is a disaster. The kids are running wild like spazed out unicorns. Your husband (or what have you) is lounging, feet up, cold beer in his grasp, the paraphernalia of his day scattered haphazardly where they fell and his eyes are glazed with that 'stuck in the magic box' look. All the while, you 'have to get dinner on the table.' So, armed with a scowl on your face and a dose of anger clouding your vision you stomp into the kitchen. Slamming cupboards, ingredients, pots, pans, plates and silverware with the vengence of a woman scorned. As you mix up my recipe you add some ingredients of your own. A pinch of jealousy, a 1/3 cup of animosity, a splash of spite and a 1/2 cup of depression. Into the oven it goes with a flourish and slam! The bell tolls....: It looks as good as mine. Smells absolutly divine. You place a forkfull into your waiting, eager lips and somthing is not quite right. There is a flatness to it. Perhsps a bitter after taste. Why did you waste your time? Next time you have to get dinner ready, do not waste your time and energy feeding your family just a nutritional meal. Instead, make one that can also fuel a heart and enliven the soul. Bringing smiles out of sorrows and being capable of erasing the effects of the day is one of the powers of being a proper woman. Leave the bitter resentment at the door and pour a large helping of love and happiness into it instead. The difference is absolutly MAGICAL!

Thank you's and Thoughts

       During this crazy time we spend here on Earth we tend to make connections to many different people.  Those I have met and let into my life have been quite a varied group of eccentrics scattered with dousche bags and morons.  Some have been worth every second invested in them and our mutual bond.  Filling each others life with a light or tranquility with just the sheer presence of that individual on a day to day basis. There are people who elicit joy.  Those who inspire. There are people who make you want to strive to better yourself, because in them you see parts of the person you want to be. They help you change your consciousness and your view of yourself.  These are the good/ positive people that you should hold onto. They are the ones, whom even in your darkest hour, will see the light inside your soul and be able to see that soul in your eyes past the pain. Through thick and thin they will be there holding a banner and cheering you on.  Even if at times they merely watch as you transform piece by piece into the person you knew was waiting inside.
      There is no way to show the amount of proper gratitude towards these people.  What they do for you, your soul and your life is immeasurable.  All one can really do is share the same enthusiasm about them.  Be their support, their light..... the cheerleader in their life.
     All of those people who have abandoned you in your greatest times of need, when the pure inky darkness was so thick your could not even breathe through it..... they are not needed in your life.  You didn't matter enough for them to waste their time on, you should not waste your time on them.  I also believe that when a friendship ends, no matter how difficult the letting go is, it is never appropriate to speak negatively about the 'lost person' in the future.  Once you are out of someones life, it changes.  Sometime directly because of the loss but usually due to time and growth.  So the person you are sending negative energy to isn't even the same person you knew.  So please be careful with your words and with your thoughts.  They mold the world around you and can cause a ripple effect.  And it all comes back to you.

      

My Moms (food) Legacy

       The other day I heard a rapping upon my chamber door.  To my surprise, when I opened it there was no person standing there..... yet a brown cardboard box rested silently at my feet. Picking it up I was astonished by the weight of such a small box. Being curious I checked the return address label. It was from my sister.  I suddenly remembered the conversation about the box of King Arthur books that were on their way to my humble abode. So I open the box and lovingly caressed each wonderful book as I withdrew them one by one.
       As I reached the bottom of the box I spotted a very tattered three-ringed binder adorned with kitty stickers and one that read "I love Washington".  Not exactly sure what I was seeing, I pulled it slowly out of the box to avoid the papers slipping out of the folder that seemed to have a tenuous grip on. I opened the binders cover and tears filled my eyes and I sank to the couch.
       I held in my hands my mothers recipe book.  Filled to bursting with recipes dating back to 1967; many of them written in her distinguishably beautiful handwriting.  She even left a written commentary on the quality of the food prepared from many of them and conversions to make larger quantities or if they were good frozen or not.
       Being an absolute lover of cooking and splendid tasting food I could not imagine a better legacy to hand down to your children.  I had been working on a recipe book to give to each of my three girls and now I get to share with them their Grandmother's secrets as well.
       Jessie (my sister), I can't thank you enough for sending the precious book of secrets to me. And Mom, thank you so very much for all of the things I have ever learned from you. And because of your dedication to cooking, all of the things I am still able to learn and to connect with you even while you are in Heaven.

                                                 " Life is too short to eat crappy food!"

Who Are You?

       I wonder who it is that takes time out of their day to read and browse what it is that I come up with to say when the mood strikes on my blog.   I know that there is a decent number of people who appear to be somewhat interested in my aimless meanderings based upon my 'blog stats'.  It causes me to question though the true purpose of the said individuals......
       I am aware that I have quite the following of haters.  Both personally and professionally. Amazingly there are quite a few I have never even had the pleasure to meet.   Perhaps if they were ever to grace me with their presence they would succumb to my charming and witty personality.  Realizing to their astonishment that I am an extremely humble and kind person with a wonderful sense of humor and their jealousy was completely warranted.  If they had attempted to befriend me instead, they would have found out what a blast life with me in it truly is.
       So, I wonder..... are my "fans" primarily made up of the misguided haters who have nothing better to do than read a paragraph of random thoughts that pour from my brain, through spell check and are directly deposited upon this blank page?  Or, are the nameless readers some of the sad and dejected men whom have made the unfortunate and life demeaning mistake of breaking my heart and this little page filled with these tiny black words are the only thing they are able to cling to for them to have even a moment in my life?
       Perhaps it is not any of those options. Perhaps those who enjoy reading a peace of my mynd are a rare and refined class of people who seek to find a human who possesses the shinning qualities of intelligence, humor, compassion, creativity and a soul that is still able to breathe.  If you are reading this I am speaking of you in one (if not all) of the categories for mentioned. And just for research sake I ask of you all..... please leave me a note a text an email a comment even a smoke signal sent in my general direction or an owl or homing pigeon (tagged with the number 42 to differentiate between all of the other messengers flying about) and just let me know why...... Why do you let me have five minutes of your life?
       Anonymous submissions are acceptable...... my information is as follows:
Danielle Muir @ danilee6679@yahoo.com
                            208-404-0689 or find me on Face Book!
                                                                                                    Thank You and Have a Magical Day

Stones (and all their implications)

       I feel like I have just begun to live and the energy that it brings is transforming. Like water over the stones, softening them with each stroke, moulding them into precious beauties. That is what my past has done.  Everything that has ever happened to me has made me into the woman I am today and I am pretty psyched about who I see.  There are still somethings that need to be smoothed out, but with time, it will come.
       I am unable to recall a time when I have been so happy and confident. So determined and strong. I want to throw my middle finger up to all of those who were naysayers in my life. The ones holding strong to doubt and depression. I WILL ALWAYS PROVE YOU WRONG!
       Also, I'd like to say "Thanks" to those who have forced me to grow by their utter lack of humanity and/or conscious. You're great! Without the extreem amount of betrayal and heart-crushing cruelty I never would have had the balls to be the amazing woman I am. You will always regret your mistake.... but I will always be thankful.
        So when there comes a time when your head is filled with hate and mistrust towards your past.... think of them clearly and send a bit of light and love instead. Admit it, part of the reason you're still upset is because they never gave their piece of your heart back.
       What you send out comes back to you. So,make your thoughts happy and light instead of dark and annihilating. Let me know if you feel a change. Have a wonderful day..... sending loves and kisses!

BLESSED BE! 

     

paintings.....

acrylic paints and India ink on canvas

acrylic on wood

India ink on canvas

Summer Solstice

Attempting to catch little fishies...... which apparently was terrifying,
 based on the screams.

Sierra, Harmony and Makayla

Teenagers tormenting each other- Lovingly.

and.... Me, aka Mom.

Summer Solstice 2012

at Wilson Lake

with

My Beautiful Ladies

Soothing the Soul

There is truly nothing that can compare to the sound and feelings derived from live music.  It has a way of altering moods in both positive and negative ways.  The vibrations through your entire soul can snap your mind out of the funk you have been living in, giving you that feeling of "living" again.  Being reborn from the passions and talents of others is a gift that everyone has the ability to capture.... all it takes is your time and a ticket. 


(photos are of Nickelback live at The Idaho Center Arena 6-13-12)

Port in the Storm

     How do you handle the storm of emotions that sometimes sweep in like a tsunami who's strength is enough to be life altering?  If it was one emotion, easily managed and understood it would me so much simpler. Life though is not simple.  But the cacophony of  feelings is at once magical and terrifying. How can one heart hold things like love, longing, spite, bitterness, contempt, desire, lust, fascination, wonder and thank fullness without simply causing it to implode?
     I have decide that I am going to continue to leave all of the negative ones by the wayside and follow with abandon the ones that make me feel, feel good, feel alive! I am excited by the light that shines in my eyes again and the tripping of my heart in finally a calming way. I have found that gifts can come from the most unexpected places. The most unexpected times from the most unexpected people.
    I am thankful for the gift of light a friend has given me through my time of darkness. The fact that all that happiness came from someone I had the (wrong) impression had thought me "Satan's mistress" at one time makes me have faith that good things can come from anywhere. And I should be open to it at all times because you never know who will matter to you in the future. And who from your past end up meaning nothing at all?  Treasure things while you have them..... when its time to let go, let go softly... take a deep breath and step forward.  You never know who will be waiting with open arms and open heart to envelope you.

Be thankful for the blessings in your life. No matter where they come from.

The Rant of the Year

In the last year I have been through a lot. To put it mildly.

       There have been times when I wanted to pull my hair out and scream, cry, throw myself to the floor with the enthusiasm of a 3-year old being withheld the worlds most awesome toy.  I am proud to say that I refrained (for the most part) to give into my child-like cravings of emotional display. Though through all of it I kept picking up the pieces anytime one was knocked from me like a decaying mummy 'zombie-walking' through life, the daily flotsam and jetsam carelessly being swept away with the tide.
       I must say that my spine is a bit stronger now.  Some may even have the nerve (right) to say that I act as though something is stuck up my ass.  In an essence something is (haha).  All of the bullshit that has been tossed at me, all of the cruel words and heartless actions have cause an increase in my level of "Bitch" that the general population gets to behold.  Once only reserved for the few and the special I now unleash the bitch in me whenever I feel the need and I offer no remorse.  In short, I no longer care how I make YOU feel.  I am living my life and unless I come by your house and add salt to your morning pot of coffee or bite your dog I really feel like no one has any right to even voice their opinion of me or mine.
       Through the last year in observation I have gathered that this opinion of mine, newly found, is not an original idea but one the masses seem to be sharing.  It is unfortunate that so many have stopped caring about the people who live together on this planet and the planet itself.  If more people cared more often in one day about another human being as opposed to what they would gain or acquire in one day I believe that the whole world would see a dramatic shift in consciousness.  And the result would be staggering.
       With that, I will make it my personal challenge to be a better more loving and caring person to the people I come in contact with today.  Perhaps I can start a ripple effect.  Or at least open someones eyes to the global epidemic of "Not Giving A Shit".

Who's with me?

Drive. Breathe. See. Be Free.

Top 10 New Music LOVES for 2012

1. James Morrison- 'You Give Me Something'
2. Florence & the Machine- 'Heavy in Your Arms'
3. The Black Keys- 'Psychotic Girl'
4. Blue October- 'Drama Everything'
5. Lana Del Ray- 'Born to Die'
6. The Pretty Reckless- 'Just Tonight'
7. Trent Dabbs- 'Inside These Lines'
8. Feist- 'How Come You Never Go There'
9. Blue Foundation- 'Eyes on Fire'
10. Zero 7- 'In The Waiting Line'